FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
