dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize