i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
