Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Randomize
