Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
