Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
