I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
