I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize