Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
