Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
