My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
