i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
