there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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