Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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