I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
