dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
