this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
