One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
