I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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