wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
