Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
