my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
