After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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