dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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