Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize