I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i drank out of a bidet.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
