just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
