East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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