apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
