im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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