And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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