My first STD was from a foam party
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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