Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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