Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize