i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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