I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
smell my finger.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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