still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
