You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My vagina just recognized that song.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
