thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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