I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
