it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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