I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
