I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
