he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
