Too much gin, very little bucket
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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