Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
