i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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