But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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