he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
