Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize