oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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