If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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