just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
