I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
